Last lap.


I don’t know where to start. A lot of things been running through my mind (what’s new). My pregnancy journey will end in less than a month time when I deliver the baby. Anxious, excited, nervous, depress etc. all these mixed feelings in me. It’s only normal to feel lethargic and stress out at work. Requested for leave from Dr S but she said that working till the end is good for labour. I know moving around is good for labour but I’m mentally stressed with work and the people I work with. It’s not I don’t want to work, it’s because I hate my work so much right now. Ohwells, may God give me the strength to tahan for another few more weeks and I’ll be gone. Gone for good, I hope. Haish.

A got a new job offer which involve shift work. I’ve always prefer a guy working office hours so that we can spend more time together as a couple and a family. But…haish. Shall not dwell on it. He’s earning more for us. I got to think positive. I need to get a grip of my emotions right now. Is it normal to be feeling this way? It’s not that I WANT to feel this wayy..situations around me is MAKING me feel shitty. Oh lil one, mama is so sorry for feeling this way. Let’s continue to eat and be happy in my stomach till the time comes okay? Be good. It’s never gonna be easy but we shall brave through this together, InsyaAllah.

May Allah ease our journey together. Amin.

Till then, I’ll post again after giving birth. If I ever find the time.


a short break.

Me: B, why you never talk to the baby? I read blogs/articles that it’s good (or so I claim it to be. lol) for the father to talk or read to the baby once in a while.

A: Okay2..I will tell story. Once upon a time, your daddy is playing FIFA. Goodnight!

Me: HAHAHA wth b! Say something laaaa

A: Something…something something something.. *endless of the word something*

Annoying kan dekni! -.-

Anyway, going for a short staycation tomorrow! I need a break man! Can’t go far away coz basically I’m left with no leave/MC to take! *sob sob*

A: You sanggup tak tidur without your maternity pillow?

Me: Alah, bawak aje laaaa

A: You da giler?!

Agak-agak boleh lepas tak bawak maternity pillow macam ni pegi hotel? Lol.


a lot on my mind.

So I’m in my third trimester already (been a couple weeks since) and hence, a lot of thoughts have been going through my mind. Like preparing myself mentally:

  • on how giving birth will be like/birth plans
  • the presence of a child in our life
  • sleepless night
  • pantang days & so on..

Of course, the first point would be my main concern as of now. I don’t know if my pain threshold is high or not. If based on my menses cramp last time, I’m always weak..vomitting and lying down in bed :/ Kalau giving birth is x1000000 much worse than cramp, macam ane tu? InsyaAllah boleh..

Many have advised me not to take epidural coz of the side-effects. Kalau sakit, tahan je. Senang eh cakap? The other time, I was at Joo Chiat looking for baju that will fit me for a wedding, the seller of one of the shops touched my stomach while I was browsing through their collection. Terperanjat jap. She asked me a lot of questions and even teach me how to use the laughing gas based on her experience. So weird but interesting jugak. Anyway, I told myself that regardless of any giving birth methods, it will be okay as long as both baby and I are safe. “It won’t make you any less of a mother” – Now I understand that feeling. You can’t help but have that expectations of yourself. You want to provide the best for your child. Ni belum masuk chapter breastfeeding lagi. Praying that everything goes smoothly from now onwards. InsyaAllah.

Don’t really have particular cravings at the moment but I get hungry every single seconds! I had one packet of Nasi Goreng Cina for lunch (trust me, the portion is quite big) and was hungry again the moment I finished it. Melampau kan! I complained to A and he finds it cute -.-” Instead I had to keep snacking just to keep myself occupied. Sometimes, I felt bad when I complained to A I was hungry at night. He would either order online or buy something for me to snack on :/ We spent a lot of food rather than baby items. Lol.

On a different note, baby is actively kicking. Alhamdulillah. It’s considered good after the previous incident. Still awkward trying to talk to the baby besides saying ‘I love you’ every single day. With just that, I’ve grown attached to you. It’s amazing how you can love someone without seeing him/her 🙂 #motherinstinctkickingin

Okaylah. I shall abruptly stop here. Too tired to think now.

Be strong my lil one.

Last Monday, #lilAN, you gave us a scare. However, I’m so ever thankful that you’re still inside me, actively kicking.

OMG, I didn’t realise my fingers looked fat this way. Anyway, this picture served as a reminder that jr doc sucks at finding your veins. Had to take twice on my left hand (caused bruises eh and it was very painful!). Senior staff nurse to the rescue! Quick and painless – right hand.
First time at labour ward. What an experience it was.
That’s his 3am face. He stayed with me and didn’t sleep a wink till 10pm on that day. I don’t know what I’ll do without you. Thank you for assuring me that it’s okay and everything’s going to be alright.


Was admitted last Monday for a day (actually supposed to be 2 days or more but I kinda insisted to be discharged the next day since I feel fine) due to detection of contractions. From vomiting due to food poisoning to this. Felt that it was more stressful to stay at the hospital. Doesn’t help that once I got home, I turned into a paranoid person.

Alhamdulillah, things got better but I’m still monitoring baby’s movements just in case. Baby, keep on kicking me all you want. Enjoy eating whatever I’m eating. Fatten up, you are still too small. Be strong like how your name represents you. I will see you again in 3 months’ time love.

First (Throwback Entry)

Here’s a #throwback entry.

24th June 2015 (Wednesday)

It’s been a week of fasting. I’ve been feeling tired lately. I don’t know if it’s laziness or what but something was off in me. I don’t feel good. Usually I have a good appetite during break fast. But now I’m just like meh..forcing myself to eat despite feeling VERY hungry. I can’t seem to savour and enjoy my food. And I’ve been going to bed by 8.30pm every single day! My period wasn’t late LATE. I got a feeling that I might be pregnant. So I got it tested during work (lol. I’ve a spare pregnancy test kit in my bag)…and it came up as positive! Alhamdulillah. I actually took 3 tests to confirm. When I first tested it at work, my reaction was more shocked than happy. It was in the afternoon. The moment I peed on it, the line turned bright red. It couldn’t be any clearer than that sia. Instead of waiting for 15 mins, I looked at it, took picture and threw it away immediately. HAHAHA. I don’t know why I was damn shocked. I went back home and tested it again because probably I’ve made a slight error earlier. Nonetheless, it came out as positive. They said the perfect timing to test is early in the morning, your first pee. So yes, I tested it AGAIN the next day during sahur.


Of course, no doubt, it came out as positive again. I don’t know why I’m in disbelief that I had to take 3 test to confirm. So the next day, we went to polyclinic and I insisted on getting tested again. Lol. 4 tests in a row..all positive. Alhamdulillah. I’m really thankful for this gift from God. I actually had to forgo my honours so that I can focus on you lil one. May everything goes smoothly, InsyaAllah. So far, alhamdulillah, there’s no vomitting. Just a slight nausea. I’m still fasting as per normal. I don’t know what’s my limit not to be able to fast. It’s not as if I have a huge appetite for now. Hopefully the appetite will come during Raya so that I can enjoy good food!

26 June 2015 (Friday)

For the past two days, I could only fast half day because of the nausea. Gaahhh~It got slightly bad that now my bestfriend is AXE OIL. Yes, I smell of AXE OIL 😦 I’m trying very hard to fast full day today. InsyaAllah everything will go well. A has been pretty much showed his care and concern. He bought me fluff bakery ondeh-ondeh cupcakes, strawberry (I still haven’t got my sweet ones. All he bought were the sour one). Not forgetting yoghurt and vitasoy -.-” Bedal je la. Oh, we also had to forgo our Bali trip in Sept 😦 Macam nak nangis but it’s for the baby’s well-being I guess. We are trying to sell our plane tickets and hotel booking. Ohwells. No amount of money can cover if anything were to happen there right. Think positive, Farah. Oh, did I mention that I received my first appointment at KKH? It will be the raya week. I hope to hear good news, InsyaAllah, and know how many months the baby will be by then. Speaking of which, I need a change in wardrobe! I don’t seem to fancy wearing jeans coz they are tight on the stomach. Sometimes, I can be lazy to even dress up. How like that?! Need some time to adjust I guess. And there’s no way I’m going to succumb to wearing maternity. So expensive and not my kind of wear? I don’t know. It’s just not me. Plus, it’s only temporary (9 months!).

30 June 2015 (Tuesday)

Last Saturday, had iftar over at my friend’s new place. Love love her new house! Anyway, I tried to fast on that day. We went to JEMS to buy birthday presents. By then, A kept telling me my lips were really pale. I told him it’s normal la. He kept insisting me to break my fast but I was relunctant. It was 5pm sey..lagi 2 more hours then I can break my fast. Took the train to CCK. It was pretty much crowded and seats were taken up. Nak suruh orang give me the pregnancy seat, my stomach not that obvious. Ohwells. So we stood against the glass panel. At that moment, I told A I wasn’t feeling good. Next thing, I saw black dots and A kept slapping me (pls eh, not the hardcore slapping. lol) to keep me awake. I could remember him asking me to look up and also eat my asam (nasib I brought it along!) He told me that he almost press the emergency button (oh no!) but luckily, we arrived at CCK already. Brought me out and I finally regain consciousness back. I was quite scared and worried if anything happened to the lil one. I was sweating so badly! Thank god A was around or else, I wouldn’t know what would happen to me if I fainted :s Ever since that day, A has forbid me from fasting as I was still weak.

Yesterday, I took MC because of morning sickness. I wasn’t vomiting but the nausea was getting bad! That time I went polyclinic all they gave me was folic acid -.-” Basically, I have to move slowly in the morning to avoid this nausea. Like bangun tak boleh terus upright. I need to take my own sweet time.. I also have no appetite to eat but I still force myself to eat. Alhamdulillah, nothing is being vomitted out. I just need to get the hang out of it. Why do first trimester feels like forever?! 😥

13 July 2015 (Monday)

It was our first appointment at KKH. Appointment was at 3.20pm but at 1pm, while I waiting for the train, they called me to come now. Ewah, dengar-dengar I can fly over there right away? Anyway, didn’t expect our first visit to be THAT long. When we reached there, we had to follow the procedure of taking scan, blood test, urine test and segala-galanya. Thank god we came in slightly early.


Upon registration, we were given the queue number and advised on where to proceed next. We had to take urine test. So I kind of hold my pee to save it for later (during scanning, I almost peed in my pants because the person pushed my bladder too hard. Haha. Padan muke kan). When we went for the scan first, A was like, “Okay, let’s go and see that baby seed!”. What was reflected on the screen, got me stunned for a while there. We could see the head, body and most importantly, hear the heartbeat. Omg. So many thoughts running through my head. Alhamdulillah we are blessed with you, lil one. It’s amazing I can recognise you right away. Usually, when people show me the baby scan photo, I cannot even see the head/legs/hands etc. I will just nod and say ‘Woahh..’ cluelessly. Lol.


After the procedure, we went for doctor’s consultation. Everything is well. Baby is in 8.8 weeks (chinese doctor loves this. 8 being a good/lucky number -.-), growing healthily and apparently, our EDD all nice number. Aww, lil one got the mummy’s trait of loving numbers 😀 I had a few questions to ask the doctor but I was blank at the moment. He gave me folic acid and some morning sickness relief pills. Lepas tu, set appointment for next visit, take blood test..go pharmacy to collect medicine (which is quite long!) and we went off from KKH at around 5plus -.-”

Asked A to accompany me to shop for shoes for raya. You and crowd is a huge NO-NO. I get nausea easily. But kalau shopping, hidup sey. Lol. Nolah, I was still feeling sick but not too bad. A bought me Melissa shoe 😀 and this girl here got her advanced birthday present; Perfume by Jo Malone *.* Totally in love with their scent. #thanksabangg


I’m looking forward to the end of first trimester. Not that it was THAT bad.. It was okay for me..just lack of appetite. I can’t see food early in the morning. Morning sickness I guess? Have the urge to vomit but nothing come out (except for once or twice..that bitter vomit, I will always remember). I feel tired all the time. I love spicy food (I am literally happy when I get to eat good food)! I get bloated easily. Thus, need to eat in small portions. I cannot smell people’s cooking. I cannot smell A’s fasting month breath (I’m sorry!). I have backache already 😦 My gum bleeds easily. Ah, the list goes on you know?

I belief all these are worth it for you, lil one 🙂 I don’t know if I’ll ever publish this post. Maybe I will..maybe I won’t.

Time will tell I guess. Looking forward to the end of first trimester and finding out your gender lil one 🙂

24 August 2015 (Monday)

Today is the 2nd appointment. We were so confident that we registered and went for lunch at McDonald. When our number was being called up, the doctor was asking if I had taken my blood pressure etc. I confidently said, “Yes, during my last visit”. Turns out that it’s a routine procedure to do it for every visit. Felt so dumb -.-

Truthfully, didn’t know what to expect. Our appointment didn’t indicate AMC scan, so I wasn’t expecting a scan of the baby. But, I was shocked and happy abit when the doctor asked me to lie down to check on the baby. The procedure was so fast that I could hardly digest whatever she was saying. All I know lil one is healthy and refused to let us know the gender 😦 When I told some relevant people about it, they immediately jump into conclusion that it’s a _______. I got a bit affected coz it’s a biased judgement (or maybe I was in denial, still). Anyway, A convinced me that regardless girl or boy, we just pray for lil one. The next scan will be in October. Hopefully, by then (my 5th month), we will get to know the gender and start buying baby’s items! So exciting!

random ranting.

I’ve been wanting to update but I don’t know what to write exactly. I will just let the words flow from my brain la eh.

How’s pregnancy so far? Alhamdulillah. Been growing terms of size and appetite. A loves to tease and call me ‘temok’ -.-” Baby loves to kick me every now and then. I will still get shocked over baby’s sudden actions. Lol. Regardless, it’s a nice feeling 🙂 Nothing out of the world kinda cravings..but i love love love sweet stuff! I’m kinda looking forward to my next appointment, which will be next week, so that I can see baby #lilAN, . Yesss, we’ve come up with a name! So exciting! >.<

On a side note, out of many things, I miss wearing jeans 😦 ikr my priorities. Obviously it’s normal for me not to fit into any of my current clothes except for the dresses (jelak already wear dress every time!). I could just buy those clothes in bigger sizes but I’m rather lazy to go shopping. Ohwells, if I continue on I will just keep whining and giving excuses. Moving on!

Celebrated bestie’s belated birthday last Wednesday. Brought her to Royz Et Vous for dinner. Main reason: To try out the halal wine. Hahahaha.


Food was good! Bestie said the white wine taste like #$%@# , in short, it wasn’t much of a pleasant taste.



Excited for nothing je that wine. Lol. Boleh dikatakan the wine was left untouched after the tasting. The last person in our group to turn 25!



Me love love the molten chocolate cake! Masih eh.


Feeling feeling pegang wine glass je :p Lol.


14 years of friendship.


After that, we lepak at SB@OneFullerton before cabbing back home coz this pregnant woman cannot walk far to the MRT anymore. Hurhurhur.


I had to take picture of the bump after all the good food I get to eat 😀 #yayailookfat #itsthebajulahnotme #angleponsalahsoilookshort #partialdenial

That’s it for now! I think my writing structure lari giler. Topic jump here and there. HAHAHA. BEDAL JE LA, JANJI UPDATE KAN. K BYE!